~ Full of Life, I can't contain ~

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Sep 07, 2014

                                                        ~ Full of Life, I cant contain! ~ 

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I see it all, all still.

My beautiful yellow dotted Pink mattress, neat and tidy

With that piece of unkempt thin blanket in the center,

Leaning to the pillow, staring at my iPhone,

The huge teddy with eyes wide right next to me,

The sleeping violin in a corner,

The Crimson red Window curtain waving through my cheeks, 

My bangles’ stand and earrings cluster stare at me,

Those scattered beads from a broken bracelet,

Feels like a part of me

I am full of life, I can’t contain!

My legs dangle hesitant to forsake the bed

Something comes over me, I see it bubble and overflow  

Anxiety from the week’s past?

Am I to abandon singlehood soon?

The feeling I stand at the edge of a slippery slope

Shout songs loud enough with hopes

That the vibes would pull the mud out of the ground

And place me a grip under my foot!

Days of those teen years flashing back

When dreams dust down

Like Crumbled Crispy Dead butterfly wings

That was so wise,

No phone calls from boys! Hushed Mom.

That’s all about being a Good Girl

You are full of life, you wouldn’t contain.

You wanted to walk your Mom’s way,

You guarded your heart not with fence

You grew more and more into yourself

They were brick walls cant be melted

Break it and you are not the same.

All the programming in my brain

By family, culture, tradition

Have to be now split open

A tiny bit to let that one guy in

The only one I waited for.

‘We ll book the guy, you ll skype him’

Well, I thought you ll show me that one guy with no doubts

Now I have to talk to all the ones you think might be the one!

Why did you lie Mom!

Well, who ll work on undoing the program?

Avoiding the onset of anxieties,

Finding sympathy at my kitchen cabinet,

Netflix and facebook, bake new recipes,

Golf course Nine holes, sing along all new top 20 UK list,

Try new beauty tips, Zumba moves,

or pick up a fight with your kin.

And I say come lets patch that cracked wall

With words deep enough to fill and close

So it evens up.

Memories of teenhood comes and goes

All I was, All I am, needs a tuning!

Crazy huh!

Like those happy-go-lucky flies

Buzzing over the scattered lifeless human bodies

Know not the misery of the dead

But buzz around with their puny life

For foolish is better light

Than knowledge that’s worse a burden

Like a flower girl lean to the new bloom

I will amaze at the first touch, first look

Those never did exist in my world,

No clothes slipping off my shoulders,

No eyes with contacts browsing through the mall,

No talk extra over a line of friendship,

No skin rubbed for a blink moment

‘Good for you my girl’, says mom,

Proud you are waiting for the one,

The one who will be the only one.

But mommy you forgot.

You programmed me not to be so.

Am stuck there and I shout.

Its like the scream of a lame woman

To scare away the fly on her nose

I wish I could move. I was chained and I somehow I grew comfortable in it.

Am stuck here. I can’t move.

I wish I could. But.. But fear fills the air around me.

Wake up, that’s all enough

Lets call it a dream, or a rehearse

Like I said, I couldn’t contain it!

Will those First somethings only sway in my dream

Would I feel more with that one you bring??

Doubts can play devils advocate, 

But otherwise,

Am full of life and I can’t contain it. :)

- Sudha Mary Devaraj

- Sudha Mary Devaraj

My Choco Muffins

Chocolate Muffins with banana chunks

Self recreational Midnight leisure activity :-)

 

 

 

:-) :-) :-)

13 April, 2014

For some, it's about slipping out of the world,
For some, it's about getting out of their door step. 
Freedom!

- Sudha Mary Devaraj

So many colours,

Did they all go for a multiple hair colouring?

The firmly stood Trees, elegant and posing their beauty.

Watching the depth of sense in a Poem,

Reading the splendor of Nature around me,

The shades heavily laden with reality

Gliding through the parchment

Flipping through the pages of my favorite book

Some of the Purest forms of Love

Widening my eyes at the very sight

The sun flowers on the side walk   
and the mushrooms

Tightly gathered with their families

Starting the day at the glimpse of hope said

That soap bubble that stayed long at my shower

The scarlet shed petals, the yellow Maple leaves,

The bowed ribbon on a gift from loved one,

Grounded, yet floating.  

The favorite mistakes, old emails,

Washes the dust of vanity from our daily chores

Every smile, every difficulty, every loyal task done,

One moment of admiration, one moment of inspiration,

Adds that colour to the day.

Ending my day with the ‘Good Night Dear’

From the creepy moon light

Have I already attained the purpose?

- Sudha Mary Devaraj 

Somebody asked me

What is the purpose of your life?

Got an answer? A thought, found none.

I simply said, ‘To Live’


_ Sudha Mary Devaraj 

என் பாரதி சொன்னார் போல்

என் பாரதி சொன்னார் போல்,
எந்நொடியும் உறுதிகொண்ட உள்ளம்,
புரிதலில் ஊறிய பண்பட்ட பேச்சு,
அறமரிந்து தெளிந்த சிந்தனை,
வேண்டிய பொருளும் உயரிய கனவும்,
உண்மை நின்றிட,
வேண்டுபவை சீரென கொண்டேனெனில்,
இவை அனைத்தும் ஏகினேன்,
கருவிழி ஈரம் கொள்ள வேண்டினேன்.
கொண்டதோ இப்பிரப்பெனில்
பிரபிர்க்கெல்லாம் அடித்தலாமாய்
மண் பயனுற,
இவை அனைத்தும் அமைதல் வேண்டுமென
கூவி கூவி வேண்டிடுவேன்.



- சுதா மேரி 

Two Honey Bees in Prairie

Two Honey Bees in Prairie, ‘Lee’ and ‘Tee’

Buzzed around so breezy.

‘Lee’ had long lovely wings, and ‘Tee’ with bright yellow strips

Stop and stare, it’s sweets everywhere!

‘Dear Muffin’, said Lee,

‘Would you Cuff in!’ showing his belly.

‘No No!’ said Tee,

‘We are Bees and need no muffin!’

‘Lee, we were born this morning to sway

From Pupa to adult we stay’,

‘Yes Tee, eyes saw you next to me, and

Queen Bee a little far away,

No moment to stop and say ‘Mommy’

Had to start for the day and search for Honey,

But I feel so different do you feel the same?

Not like those around the Beehive, thriving for ordain.

‘Hello Wood Violet’, said Lee

Do you have some Honey?

‘Oh poor me, said Viola, ‘my pollen -

They were stolen. ‘

Lee & Tee had a tiny heart

Easy to crack and break with a clot.

They had no clue how to boo,

When they see the Queen Bee ask for the dew.

‘Here is a grape, in a beautiful landscape,

We can feast on the fruit it smells so sweet.’

‘No, we are Bees, cant escape,

Stay and learn to sting and burn.’

‘We stung a passant but still alive!

We did nothing much yet got tire!’

‘But I feel so different do you feel the same?

Not like those around the hive, thriving for ordain day and night.’

‘Lee’ & ‘Tee’ Sang together, ‘Hello Cherry, you are pretty, so we swirl around,

We promise to prey you not until you fall to the ground,

We like that you smell as honey,

And we are more than a Bee,

We are special; we feed on honey and anything close.

We are powerful we don’t die after a sting, God has made us special so’

Pretty Cherry whispered to her friend, ‘they seem so nice,

Lets not reveal they are Fruit Flies’

- Sudha Mary Devaraj

18 April 2013